It was late in the afternoon, but I needed to get home.  Clasping a large bunch of fresh spring flowers (relationship insurance premium) I walked quickly down Praed Street to Paddington and scanned the train departure screens.  A West Country train in ten minutes!  I ran to the platform barrier to show my ticket but was rebuffed by an inspector saying ‘This is a cheapskate SuperSaver ticket and is only valid on trains after 18.30′ (or words to that effect).

The thought of spending two more hours on that dreary cash-sucking concourse, with its sushi conveyor belts and endless donut concessions was more than I could tolerate.  I found the First Great Western information desk and joined a very short queue. Come on come on.  My turn came.  I laid the flowers down in front of me and handed over my ticket. ‘Is there any chance I could pay for this ticket to be upgraded for the next train – you see I need to get home’. The woman behind the counter looked up at me, looked back down at the flowers and rapidly scribbled some hieroglyphics on the ticket.  How much do I need to pay for the upgrade? I said, getting out my wallet.  ‘Nothing’ she replied, looking down at the flowers and smiling ‘Flowers like that shouldn’t be kept waiting for anyone’. She glanced at her computer terminal ‘You had better be quick, your train is leaving shortly’.  Finally I understood that great line from Seigfried Sassoon ‘Everyone suddenly burst out singing; And I was filled with such delight’.

choo choo

The other day I brought a return ticket from St.Pancras to Canterbury from the First Great Western website. When I arrived at St. Pancras to collect my ticket, the machine refused to print it out. I missed my connection, had to reschedule my meeting at the University, purchase a replacement ticket and wait an hour and a half for the next train. Feeling rather aggrieved at having spent £60 instead of £30 I rang First Great Western Customer Services only to be told that they would refund my original ticket price less a £10 administration fee. “But it wasn’t my fault!” I explained. “Sorry” they said, “you purchased your ticket from a machine owned by another Train Operating Company (how was I to know?) and you will have to direct your complaint to them”.

I then received a tediously jobsworthy email explaining, in the most granular detail, what a complex operation it was to process my humble refund. I was told how many accounts payable ledger clerks were involved, the number of inkwells and quills used, what security verification and external audit systems had to be deployed and finally I was given a postal address in Plymouth to reclaim the £10 administration fee. At the end of the email there was a P.S. *** Your feedback is really important to First Great Western so we would be very grateful for a couple of moments of your time to complete our customer satisfaction survey. *** I resisted the temptation. You see, at the end of the day it wasn’t about £10. It was about a missed opportunity to make one of their passengers feel happy. And happy customers are the best free marketing resource any business can have.